Reports of My Death 2.0

My Sister Cabbage After Watching CNN

I‘m still here, fandom.

It‘s my Hoomin Mom that was in a bit of a Hoomin Pickle. The Litter Pandemic is for real, and we are now sure it has to be related to litter pans. She is the only one who cleans it in this home, so it has to be, as my Hoomin Dad is doing A-Okay, other than closing the door to the room he stays in all day now and not letting me in.

So back to the Hoomin Pickle. Two days ago, Mom had to go to the Vet. Dad wasn‘t let in and found that hard. I understand because no matter how many neighbors‘ doors I visit, and on most days it’s about 23, only two Hoomin Neighbors, Bob and Tracy, let me in. Two houses of all the ones on the street! Is that incredible? Hoomins can be so unsociable, and now with Great Orange Tabby Leader telling them to stay at least six cat-lengths apart, they are getting even more dodgy in the Outside World. Never particularly friendly cats, they have been getting downright Hissy.

So now Mom is on the sofa again and looks displeased. My sister Cabbage sits on her a lot, which Mom thinks is Cat Reiki. I don‘t like to sit still and so I‘m glad Cabbage has at least one use besides hating me.

Mom has found something in the Interwebs that has her excited. It‘s called The Sofa Singers and they plan a weekly song fest for Hoomins Alone Together during the Litter Pandemic. She told me to share it not only with Hoomin Fans but also their Pets both Feline and Canine, because just think how much the Feline and Canine Voices can add to the mix!

Another thing Mom said to share. If your Hoomin Fambly has any moosicians in it, ask one to lay down some tracks, like Mom‘s son Peter who also has a bunch of songs on the You Tubes, and other Famblies can then sing parts and add them in and share with the Facebooks and Instas. Mom will let me know when I can share a link to her Fambly song, which she says might be Sounds of Silence During the Litter Pandemic. They are working on it and so far won‘t let me contribute. Workin‘ on them as I have La Unique Squeek. In fact, in my former gang life, I was known as Squeek. Story for another time.

Meanwhile, as you wait with Baited Shallow Breaths for the Fambly Song, sing in your kitchen, shower, and while walking Canines. As my Virtual Canine Bud Pluto has advised, if other Hoomins look at you like you are strange, who cares? You are at least six cat lengths away. Look back into their judge eyes with compassion and love. You will feel better. I promise. Pawkie Swear.

Courage, Hoomis and Canines and Felines Alike! Purr on your Hoomins‘ laps if you want to keep getting the finest of Tuna and remind them that when they open a Hoomin Tuna can they can give you the Runoff. My Uncle Pat calls it the Martuni. Yum!

xoxoxoxoxox - Miko